


We were orphans before we were ever the sons of regret

by MsPeppernose



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M, Summer of Like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 02:23:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4461713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsPeppernose/pseuds/MsPeppernose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete is a genius. What could possibly go wrong with his awesome plan to fake a relationship?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We were orphans before we were ever the sons of regret

**Author's Note:**

> Fake-dating trope, as requested by Transboykobrakid on tumblr.  
> Title is from Orphans by Gaslight Anthem, because they just announced a hiatus and I love them and I'm sad. unbetad. <3

Pete panics, and panics hard. He scans the parking lot and sees some tech guys, three girls he’s sure are fans trying to sneak into a tour bus, and an old dude who’s grumbling at everyone who seems to work for the venue.

None of these people can help him with his problem. His problem is that he hooked up with Steve, the sweetest, cutest, clingiest most annoying tech guy for one of the other bands, two days ago, and now the guy seems to think that he and Pete are soul mates.

Pete had thought it was just a one-nighter, a bit of fun, and that happens to everyone on this tour, but now Pete needs a diversion, and one that won’t hurt Steve’s feelings more than necessary.

He takes a look around again and sees Mikey Way, the dude from My Chem, and that’s _perfect_. Pete almost sprints across the parking lot.

“Mikey. Wait up.”  
“What’s up, Pete.”

Pete doesn’t know Mikey all that well, but they’ve had a few conversations about music and comics and such when they’ve all be hanging around backstage.

“Mikey, can I ask a huge favour? Basically if you do this for me I’ll be in your debt forever and ever.”

Mikey’s face barely twitches, so Pete has no idea if he’s going to say yes or no. 

“What sort of favour?”  
“Can you hold my hand?” He gives Mikey what he hopes are some decent puppy dog eyes. These ones usually work on Patrick even when Patrick is gunning for him, so maybe he’ll be lucky here too.  
“That’s an odd favour to ask, you know. Why?”  
“I’m trying to avoid this guy I hooked up with. He’s super nice and all, but he thinks we’re destined to be married or some shit. It probably makes me look like a douche, but I’d rather that than hurt his feelings by telling him he’s coming on way too strong. I don’t want to break his heart and this might let him down easier. Please?”

Again, Mikey’s face barely moves, but he shrugs and agrees.

Pete feels really awful when he crosses the parking lot with Mikey’s fingers linked in his when he sees Steve’s face waver from a bright smile into confusion, and then into a frown. He gives Pete a sad little wave and when he’s out of sight, Pete breathes a big sigh of relief. 

“Dude. I owe you!” Pete says, and he realises he’s still holding Mikey’s hand.  
“It’s fine.”  
“No really. If I can pay you back, you gotta let me know.”

“Well,” Mikey says, considering. “Could we pretend we’re dating in front of my band? Just a couple of times. My brother has been on at me to settle down a bit. Not like a serious relationship, but you know, date someone more than once.”  
“I get that. Oh, can we pretend in front of my band too then? Everyone seems to think I need a bit more stability,” Pete says seriously, and it’s true. “Maybe a fake-summer-romance would work for that. And maybe if we need to get out of any awkward morning-after stuff with hook-ups we can help each other out as well?”  
“Sure.”  
“Awesome. Deal.”

Pete sticks out his hand for Mikey to shake, because they’re no longer holding hands, but it felt kinda nice when they were. Mikey gives Pete a half smile and his eyes twinkle as he gives Pete’s hand a firm shake.

Pete is a genius. What could possibly go wrong with his awesome plan to fake a relationship?

*

“This is Pete.”

It’s two days later, and they’re in the lounge of the My Chem bus. Mikey has brought Pete over to begin their little deception with his band, but only Frank is there. Mikey had briefed Pete beforehand, telling him they just need to pretend to hang out, maybe a little bit of affection, but nothing too over the top.  
“I know who Pete is,” Frank says. He doesn’t sound overly impressed, and Pete lets it wash over him. _Fuck it_ , he thinks, it’s not like he’s marrying Mikey, it’s just pretend. He doesn’t need Frank to approve of him. 

Pete decides he’ll turn up the obnoxious, seeing as Frank seems to think that’s who he is anyway. He slings his arm around Mikey’s shoulder, and presses in close. He hangs off Mikey, like it’s all perfectly normal, and this isn’t the first time there’s been this much physical contact.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve watched you guys play a couple of times already. Before Mikey and I started dating.”  
“Good to know you’re a fan,” Frank deadpans.  
“Dude,” Mikey interjects. “Don’t be a dick.”  
Frank’s face softens, but just a fraction. “Sorry. I put my asshole hat on this morning. Are you guys on a date or what?”  
“I guess,” Mikey shrugs. “Me and Pete are going to go hang out in my bunk for a bit.”  
“Well keep it down in there, Mikes. And if Gee comes back, _really_ keep it down.” It seems to be a warning from Frank to Mikey, but Pete takes it that it’s also for him. Pete knows that Mikey and his brother are close, and big brothers tend to be protective anyway. And okay, even if Pete doesn’t _need_ Frank to like him, the air feels a little chilly here. His plan was to wait for Mikey’s cue, but Pete sort of wants to get out of here now. Maybe he does want Mikey’s friends to like him after all.

He pecks a little kiss onto Mikey’s cheek, and Mikey is really good at this faking it stuff, because he fucking _blushes_ , and then leads Pete off down to the bunks room.

Pete shuffles inside, and when Mikey is in behind him and the curtain is shut, he says, “Was that okay?” And sounding a little sadder than he intends, he says, “Do your band hate me?”  
“I think they’re just looking out for me,” Mikey explains. “They don’t hate you. We’ve all been talking about how awesome it is to be on the same bill as you guys for weeks.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Yeah. Don’t worry. You did good. Nice touch with the kiss on the cheek.” 

Pete grins, ignoring how he’d felt almost a gravitational pull towards Mikey, and a wish to kiss him _somewhere_. “So what do we do in here? Are we pretending to make out?” he asks, to change the subject.  
“I guess.”  
“What do we do instead?”  
“I have a bunch of comic books. We can read ‘em together if you want?”  
“Well, that’s perfect. Feels like a real date already.” 

Pete isn’t even lying.

*

Pete, when he’s dating, is very affectionate, bordering on disgusting, and where Mikey says he’s usually more understated with public affection, Pete is downright over the top with kissing or cuddling. 

Because of this, he knows that a little bit of handholding and hiding in his bunk with Mikey probably isn’t going to cut it if he’s trying to convince his own band that he and Mikey are actually dating.

Mikey’s sitting right beside Pete on the sofa of the Fall Out Boy lounge. The plan was to do their public affection bit and then Mikey could be on his merry way back to his own bus, but no one was on the bus when they arrived so they’ve been hanging out waiting for someone to come home.

They’re on their five-millionth round of _Halo 2_ and have been arguing over the finer points of that versus the original _Halo_ , when Patrick and Andy come through the door after a coffee run.

Pete would shift himself and get all close and cosy with Mikey, but they’re already sitting shoulder to shoulder, and he’s only realising now.

“Hey, guys. This is Mikey, but you knew that. He’s been pounding my ass,” he says, and then when he thinks he might be blushing at his accidental double-entendre, he adds, “At Halo. Wanna play?” 

Now would be a great time to be all over Mikey, nice and public. It’s perfect.

“Sure. Set it up.”

It’s a squash on the couch, because it’s not built for four people, barely three, so Patrick sits on the floor, and Pete ends up half in Mikey’s lap, thigh flung over Mikey’s as they play, grinning as he does so.

Mikey’s good, but Andy is ruthless and beats all of them into the ground. When everyone is sick of losing, they take a breather for snacks, and now is when Pete can ham it up and be all mushy with Mikey. He drops his head down to Mikey’s shoulder and it feels nice to lean in against him, even if Mikey is more bone than pillow.

Patrick knows Pete too well, and Pete is sure that he’ll see right through it because this is very tame for Pete’s affectionate behaviour, but Mikey apparently brought his A game with him today. Within seconds, Mikey slips his hand into Pete’s, and _then_ , he sits his other hand right on Pete’s knee. Pete doesn’t flinch, but he tenses slightly, and it’s probably just that he wasn’t expecting it, rather than how nice it feels. That must be it.

Mikey’s phone vibrates a text, and he has to leave for soundcheck, so now is the perfect opportunity for a goodbye fake-kiss. They stand at the door to the lounge, nicely visible to everyone, and without thinking too hard – it’s just a kiss after all – Pete leans in and presses his lips to Mikey’s.

The kiss is--The kiss is incredible, and Pete’s breath is taken clear away by the way that Mikey’s mouth fits to his, the way their tongues touch briefly, which probably isn’t strictly necessary seeing as no one can see inside their mouths. It makes it feel very real though, so maybe it looks even more convincing. Mikey’s hands are on his back, and Pete wraps his arms around Mikey’s waist and holds on tight. He forgets that this is a fake kiss, one just for show, and winds up kissing for far longer than he intended, sighing into Mikey’s mouth at the end.

"Come on, dude,” Patrick’s voice says from somewhere on earth, because Pete is definitely in heaven kissing Mikey. “If Mikey’s late, and his band come looking for him, and you’re still doing _that,_ I’m handing you over to them for public flogging.”

Pete is a little shell-shocked when he pulls back, and he has a wide, goofy grin. All for show, of course, of course.

Mikey departs, and Pete flops back down on the sofa beside Patrick.

“You like him a lot, then?” Patrick asks, passing Pete a controller for the next round of ass kicking from Andy.  
“You can tell?” Pete asks, surprised and pleased that he’s that good of an actor.  
Patrick looks at him, incredulous. “There are satellites orbiting the planet that can tell, Pete. Haven’t seen you this is love in a while.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, you seem happier since you guys started hanging out.”

Pete grins, and it’s only partly because pulling the wool over his band’s eyes is so satisfying.

*

They repeat their kissing, of course, and again it’s in the back lounge of the Fall Out Boy bus. It begins as just hanging out, throwing peanut M&Ms into each other’s mouths from either ends of the couch. The thing is, since Pete has started hanging out with Mikey, they’ve become good friends too, and it means that something as inane as peanut-football is actually really fun. Mikey’s very reserved when he’s in public, but he lets his guard down around his band and his brother, and now, Pete. He has an adorable-goofball centre wrapped up in a quiet, crispy shell.

When Patrick comes into the lounge with his laptop, Pete stretches his legs out so that they’re in Mikey’s lap. They quit their peanut throwing and Pete sticks on an X-men movie for background noise more than anything else.

A debate begins over the best X-men powers, because it always does and always will, and Pete tries to argue with Mikey that the power to control metal is far cooler than Wolverine’s adamantium claws. Patrick’s input about mind control winning over everything is lost when Pete plays dirty with Mikey, turning the discussion into a tickle fight instead, skimming his hands up Mikey’s sides until there’s proper giggles coming out of Mikey Way’s mouth. It’s definitely not fair play, but the blush in Mikey’s cheeks and the warmth in Pete’s own belly makes him not want to end it just yet. It’s pretty fucking obnoxious behaviour seeing as they’re all in the lounge together, but Pete has done worse. 

They calm down when Joe and Andy return from outside, and Pete takes the opportunity to crawl into Mikey’s lap, using the excuse that they take up less seats that way. Mikey doesn’t flinch, and wraps his arm loosely around Pete’s waist like it belongs there. It feels very natural, and Pete gives them both a mental gold star for being so good at pretending. 

Pete and the guys have to go do a signing, so Mikey leaves too. Before they go there’s another long, slow, drawn out fake goodbye kiss between Pete and Mikey, and Pete lets himself get swept up in Mikey’s arms and enjoy every second. 

They’re still pressed together and making gooey eyes at each other - _fake_ gooey eyes of course – when Joe puts a stop to it.

“Get a room!” Joe calls, and flicks a balled up piece of paper which hits Pete on the side of the head.  
“Don’t need a room, I’ve a bunk,” Pete says, he’s having too much fun to stop this now.  
Joe makes a face. “Yeah, well keep it the fuck down in there if that’s what you’re up to. I don’t want to fucking know.”

Pete leers and has _the best_ idea.

The next day, to make things sound nice and convincing, Pete suggests that he and Mikey make it sound like they’re up to absolutely no good when they’re in Pete’s bunk together.

“It feels weird to pretend,” Mikey whispers. “I don’t know if I can keep from laughing.”  
“I know,” Pete giggles, and even if it was his idea, he feels pretty silly at the thought of fake moaning and groaning. Usually he’s trying to keep the noise down if he has company, not the opposite. “But it’s just pretend.”  
“Okay. You go first.”

Pete looks at Mikey long and hard, and though he feels like a complete fool giving away his bedroom sounds, he throws his head back, and half yells, “God! Yes! That’s so fucking good.”

Mikey’s lying on his stomach and he buries his face into Pete’s pillow trying to stifle the sound of his laughter. He makes a long, low moan, and he keeps his face mostly straight when he does it, but then dissolves into another silent giggle.

Pete looks around the bunk for inspiration for his next line, and Mikey has his fist in his mouth trying to keep the sound of his laughter in. “Mikey, your hands are so distracting,” he says finally, and that’s not strictly a lie.

“You look so good when you do that,” Mikey says, and Pete feels heat in his cheeks. He knows it’s a stupid, fake line, but he still likes Mikey telling him.

“Fuck. Mikey Way, I never thought you’d be good at this.”  
Silence.  
“Oh, God. Pete. If only all your groupie girls knew what you were up to in here with me.”  
Muffled giggles.  
“That feels so good.”  
A very fake sounding moan.  
“Right there. Do that again.”  
More giggles, barely hushed this time, which turns into a shaky groan.  
“No one has ever made me feel like this before.”  
Complete silence, because they’re both shaking with laughter.  
“Oh, shit. I’m so close.”

It’s the worst, cheesiest, faux-porn dialogue Pete has ever uttered, and he’d never say anything like this if he was in bed for real with Mikey. They get carried away, egging each other on to be filthier and more ridiculous with their lines, until Joe shouts from the lounge that if they don’t shut the fuck up _Right Now_ , that he’s coming in and throwing them out into the parking lot regardless of what state of undress they’re in.

It’s enough to silence them, but only because neither Pete nor Mikey can breathe from laughing so hard.

*

Pete knows that Mikey and Gerard are very close siblings, and considering Pete is supposed to be dating Mikey, he’s not entirely surprised that Gerard wants to have a word with him.

Mikey mysteriously disappears when he and Pete are hanging out on the My Chem bus, leaving Pete and Gerard alone. Even though Gerard is quietly sketching, Pete can feel he’s being watched.

“Pete?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I know you and Mikey are dating,” Gerard says from under his tangle of dark hair. “And I’d give you a big brother warning not to hurt him or I’ll kill you-“

Pete panics a little. He had a feeling that this would happen even though they are fake-dating, and that’s kind of good because it means their behaviour is convincing. “I wouldn’t hurt him.”

“What I was trying to say, is I’d give you that warning, but he seems very happy since you guys started hanging out, so I probably don’t need to kill you.”  
Pete is taken a little aback. “Thanks, Gerard. I know where you’re coming from. I have siblings I’m protective of, and my band are like my brothers, too. I won’t hurt Mikey. I care about him.” And Pete wonders for what’s not remotely the first time which parts he’s pretending and which parts are true.

Gerard ducks his head again, back to his sketch and deep in concentration. “But I will kill you. If you hurt him.”

“Noted,” Pete says, and he’s incredibly glad when Mikey reappears, for so many reasons.

*

They’re hanging out in the parking lot one day, sitting on a rickety wall and slurping iced coffees that Gerard was awesome enough to bring back for them from a Starbucks run.

“Hey isn’t he that guy you were avoiding that day?” Mikey says, pointing off into the distance.

Pete looks across the parking lot and sees Steve making his way across the lot. He’s with two other guys and they’re probably far enough away that they won’t even see Pete.

“Yep.”  
“So should we hold hands or make out or something?

Pete looks at Mikey wide-eyed and says, “Yes,” quicker than he should considering he’s been thinking about his pretend-Mikey-dates less and less like a deal and more like something else.

Mikey hops down off the wall and crowds in close to Pete, right in the vee of Pete’s legs. Mikey has to stoop down low, but he cups his hand to Pete’s jaw, tilts his head, and kisses him hard. Pete holds his breath at first, and after a long moment of soft lips, and Mikey’s fingers in his hair, he finally exhales a whimper. Pete feels like he might topple backwards off the wall, so he makes a grab for Mikey’s shirt and ends up with his fingers underneath it instead, brushing bare skin.

Pete has no idea how long they kiss for, because he’s lost all feeling in his brain except for how awesome the kiss is, how awesome _Mikey is_ , but when they finally pull apart, Steve is nowhere to be seen.

“Was that okay?”  
“Was it okay?” Okay is the understatement of the fucking year. Pete’s lips are still humming. “Yeah, it was great. Really--convincing. That dude didn’t even come near us to say hey.” _Because he probably didn’t even see us_ , thinks Pete. And even if Steve had have come over and smacked Pete across the back of the head with a frying pan, Pete may not have noticed when Mikey was kissing like that.

*

It’s been two weeks of handholding, cheek kisses (and proper kisses), Pete sitting in Mikey’s lap, shared whispers, and hilarious fake sex, and Pete’s had the time of his life.

No one around them, not friends or bandmates or crew, even look at them sideways when they huddle in close to talk together or hold hands backstage, and yet they’re both still putting on a show. 

Pete’s not sure whose benefit it’s for any more.

He knows it was all supposed to be fake, just make-believe, and yet the more couple things he’s done with Mikey, the more he’s started liking him. 

When Mikey holds his hand, Pete gets butterflies in his stomach, and when they do fake-kissing, Pete’s stomach swoops down so low he thinks it might fall right out.

When they made their deal initially, Pete had suggested that they help each other get out of awkward morning-afters with people they hooked up with. But the thing is, Pete has had no desire to hook up with anyone since, always finding a flaw in a potential bed-mate, and accidentally comparing them to Mikey so that they pale in comparison. Mikey’s cheekbones are more perfect. Mikey’s smile is cuter. Mikey knows far more about comics. Mikey fills out his jeans better even if he’s a skinny guy. Pete may never get laid again if he keeps comparing everyone to Mikey, but he can’t help it.

He chides himself for being so naïve, thinking he could fake a relationship, fake _feelings_ and _tenderness_ , and not end up feeling them for real. He’s always been a romantic, and he should have realised that acting like he’s into someone as awesome as Mikey Way, and not feeling the romance vibrating through the room, clinging onto his skin like static, was just plain silly.

He’s into Mikey. Really into him. He’s going to tell him, and even if that ruins their little arrangement, it’s better than being the weirdo in love with a fake boyfriend. 

He corners Mikey outside the My Chem bus, and there’s nothing unusual there, but this time Pete’s nerves are bubbling and he feels all wound up, like a top ready to spin.

“Hey, are you coming to see me?” Mikey asks. Pete wants to reach for his hand or place a kiss on his lips, but there’s no one around to justify it, so he doesn’t.  
“Of course.”  
“I was on my way to soundcheck and I’m a little late. If you wanna come we can annoy Bob by making out right beside his kit.”

Pete’s stomach twists with apprehension. “Um. About that.”

Mikey begins to walk in the direction of venue door, so Pete walks to keep up. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t say it now, he’ll lose his nerve and have to spend the day pretending to be falling in love with Mikey when he really, really is. 

“You don’t want to make out?”  
“It’s not that.” Because that’s _exactly_ what Pete wants, just for different reasons.

Mikey stops in his tracks. “Is it the deal? Do you want to call it off?” 

Mikey’s amazing at controlling his face. Pete has seen him barely twitch into a smile at the funniest of jokes, barely move a single muscle in his forehead when most people would wear a deep frown. Pete studies his face as he speaks, and he sees a tiny little shadow of panic and a minuscule morsel of sadness written somewhere there. 

Pete doesn’t want to stop this, the hanging out, the _making out_ , but it’s not fair if he has feelings for Mikey, so he twists the truth.

“Yes.”

Mikey’s mouth twitches down at the corners, and Pete thinks it’s now or never.

“Look,” Pete says. “I know we were just supposed to be pretending, and I know that it was all just meant to be for show, but I think we were so good at faking it that I convinced myself. I really like you. Stupid, huh?”

Mikey takes his time to answer. “Pete-“

Pete doesn’t want to wait to hear Mikey’s reply though, he’s in full panic mode now. It’s probably going to be so awkward that he’ll have to avoid Mikey like the plague for the rest of the summer. 

“Shit. I made it weird, didn’t I?”  
“Pete-“  
“Just pretend I never said anything.”  
“Pete-“  
“Sorry. I-“  
“Shut up.”

Mikey pulls Pete by a handful of his shirt, and it’s hard enough that Pete almost stumbles, ending up flush against Mikey’s chest. But then Mikey kisses him, and it’s soft and sweet and glorious, and Pete melts against him, wrapping both arms around Mikey’s neck.

“I have soundcheck now,” Mikey murmurs.  
“I know.” Pete is confused, but he doesn’t want to take his hands from where they’re curled around Mikey.  
“So you should come make out with me after.”  
“But. What about what I said?”  
“I didn’t want to tell you, because I didn’t want to let you down and run out on our deal.”

Pete is more confused than ever, his face fixed in a frown as he starts to pull away. Pete’s concern evaporates when Mikey catches both of his hands in his and presses another little kiss to the side of his mouth. 

“I stopped pretending a week ago, Pete.”


End file.
